Why Do I Feel Like I’m Never Enough?
Does it ever feel like no matter how much you accomplish, it’s still not enough? Or maybe like you're constantly second-guessing yourself and feeling like an imposter? You are not alone. Anxiety and ADHD can deeply impact self-worth, making it difficult to trust ourselves, feel confident in our abilities, and recognize our own value. The racing thoughts of anxiety and the executive functioning struggles of ADHD often create an internal dialogue that repeatedly tells us that we are falling short, reinforcing a painful belief that you’re never quite measuring up.
As a therapist specializing in self-worth, anxiety, and ADHD in Arizona and Colorado, I'm very familiar with this struggle and am passionate about helping people heal their relationship with themselves. Because, here’s the truth: Your worth has never been up for debate. It exists outside of your productivity, your focus, and how much you manage to get done in a day. Let’s explore how anxiety and ADHD impact self-worth—and, more importantly, how you can begin to reclaim a sense of confidence and self-trust.
How Anxiety and ADHD Erode Self-Worth
Both anxiety and ADHD can create cycles of self-doubt, perfectionism, and frustration. While they impact people differently, common patterns emerge that can really wear down self-worth over time.
Anxiety has a way of making you feel like you’re never doing enough—pushing you to work harder, strive for perfection, and stay in control at all times, just to avoid judgment or failure. It’s not just the racing thoughts, it can also show up in your body- leaving you tense, restless, or exhausted. At its core, anxiety is your brain’s way of trying to protect you, but it doesn’t consider the toll it takes on your mental health. When the bar always feels just out of reach, it’s easy to start believing that you are the problem—that you’re not enough. But the truth is, you are already worthy, and you don’t have to earn your self-worth by keeping up with anxiety’s impossible demands.
ADHD, on the other hand, can make it feel like your brain is working against you—struggling to stay organized, manage time, or follow through on tasks, no matter how much you want to. When forgetfulness or inconsistency show up, it’s easy to feel guilt or shame, especially if others don’t understand what’s really going on or we haven't figured out the right systems to support ourselves. If you experience rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), as many with ADHD do, even small criticisms or mistakes can feel overwhelming, reinforcing the fear that you’re not good enough. But none of this means you’re broken or incapable. ADHD isn’t a reflection of your worth—it’s a different way of thinking and navigating the world, and with the right understanding and support, you can learn to work with your brain, not against it.
Breaking the Cycle: How to Reclaim Your Self-Worth
The good news? While anxiety and ADHD might try to convince you otherwise, your self-worth is not defined by your productivity, your focus, or how “together” you appear. Shifting your mindset starts with small, intentional steps:
Separate Your Worth from Your Productivity – You are not a to-do list. Instead of measuring yourself by external achievements, a really healthy place to start is through recognizing your intrinsic value. What are aspects of who you are that you view as strengths or could work on admiring more? Things like your creativity, kindness, and resilience are more important than how many things you accomplished before lunch yesterday.
Challenge Negative Thoughts – When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself: Would I speak to a friend this way? Is this thought 100% true? What’s a more balanced perspective? Often, our inner critic exaggerates our shortcomings and it is important to remember that thoughts are not facts! Thoughts are thoughts and we still need to assess them for truth, especially if self-doubt has become a track our brain likes to play.
Practice Self-Compassion – Have you ever beat yourself up for struggles and felt better afterwards? Probably not. Self-Compassion acknowledges that learning and growth aren’t linear, that being human is inherently really difficult, and that struggling doesn’t make us any less worthy. While some worry that being more kind to themselves discourages accountability, that isn't true at all. Being more kind to ourselves is simply acknowledging that being hard on yourself won't make things easier, but honoring our needs and capacity just might.
Work With Your Brain, Not Against It – If you have ADHD, your brain isn’t broken—it just functions differently. Instead of forcing yourself into ways of doing things that you know don’t work for you, experiment with strategies that play to your strengths, like body doubling, using visual timers, or breaking tasks into micro-steps. If you are navigating anxiety, know that we understand this part of the brain very well and there are specific tools that can help us rewire our anxious brain, like grounding, nervous system soothing. cold therapy, and challenging anxious thoughts through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Surround Yourself With the Right Support – Healing self-worth is easier when you have people who validate and uplift you. Seek out family, friends, and communities that make you feel seen and loved. If you're open to it, tapping into therapeutic support with someone who specializes in anxiety, ADHD, and/ or self-worth can greatly deepen your understanding of yourself, give you helpful tools to navigate symptoms, and help you heal your relationship with yourself.
You Are Enough—Just as You Are
If anxiety and ADHD have made you feel like you’re not enough, know this: You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not failing. You are learning, growing, and worthy of self-trust and self-compassion. Rebuilding self-worth isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about realizing you were never unworthy to begin with and creating new ways of thinking, coping skills, and ways to check-in with ourselves that better serve us.
If you’re ready to heal your relationship with yourself, I’d love to support you. As a licensed therapist in Arizona and Colorado, I specialize in helping adults navigate anxiety, ADHD, and self-worth struggles.
📍 If you’re in Arizona or Colorado, schedule a free consultation today
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